There are three more weeks until school ends. I don't even know what I'm going to be doing in class because AP tests are over and there's nothing to study for anymore. I did enjoy that day last week when I watched a movie or a show in five out of my six classes. That was amazing. I noticed that my stress level was so much lower that day an the day after. I wasn't worrying about school or the homework that I wasn't doing that day. (Unlike now because I should be doing an English assignment that's due tomorrow and I haven't starte yet.) I wish every day could be that stress free, but I was told that until I get what I want I'm going to have to stress a lot more. It was something like that.
Summer is almost here and I've already started to do more things with my friends. I'm very greatful to have the group of firends that I do have. I have an idea that I think I will follow through with. It's to write a note on a card or something to each person that I want to acknowledge for this year. I think it'll be fun to give out to people. Friendships are something that really became important this year for me. I didn't realize how much human contact and relationships really affect an individual. I think it's pretty interesting how each person has a unique relationship with everyone that they meet. None are exactly the same. It's so cool how our minds work. Maybe I could get into psychology or something. I still have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.
There was another bullet that I wanted to cover but I forgot it. Um, I want to make some money this summer. I've started making a list of different things I can do or jobs I can apply for. I feel so old thinking about this kind of stuff. It's eye opening realizing that I'm going to be a senior in high school in a matter of weeks. Top of the food chain. I've already got lower class men calling me Senior during basketball. I know that I'm going to get very sentimental during this next year. It's just how I am. Me and my friends are going to make senior year the best year, it's not going to make itself happen. We can all drive now and it's exciting growing up with the bunch of kids who understand where you're coming from and can share their thoughts. We're so similar but also very different from each other, which keeps the group lively since new ideas and perspectives come up in conversations. I hope that we all stick together next year.
This summer I'm going to work on self improvement in several aspects of my life. I wonder if I'll come back to school different with small or big changes. It doesn't sound like it makes sense, but I hope that you understand what I'm trying to say. I think everyone has that image of how they want to be, if not then this is awkward. I have this picture in my head of how I want to look and be but I don't know how to get from here to there. I've always just told myself that in collee it'll magically happen, but what I've experienced this year is that if you want something, you've got to make it happen for yourself. This makes life difficult for me because I have great ideas and stuff, but I'm so forgetful and narrow minded at times that I completely forget them. Like I missed the SAT sign ups twice. I still have SAT and ACT forms and stuff to either complete or print. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I remember to do them and am able to test. I guess it's another personality trait.
I do get to spend more time with my family, though. I hate being the mean big sister, but to get stuff done i need to be. I cried watching Frozen the first time during "Do You Want to Build a Smowman?" because I felt like Elsa. I am Elsa. I push my little sisters away when they want to play with me and I don't let people in. I need to learn how to Let It Go. I really love that movie because I can see how my actions have consequences and I don't want to lose the relationships I have with my little sisters. It is hard because they are 4 and 6 years younger than me, soon to be 5 and 7. The age gap is a huge factor. It's okay, they'll grow up, but now they are so annoying. I've gone to bed with a sore throat from screaming at them. It's not like I enjoy being mean. My friends have never seen this side of me. I wonder how they'd react. I guess I let out my anger on them.
Thirteen more days of school left! Summer is going to be nostalgic, as well. The last complete one with my friends before we all go our separate ways. I hope to make fantastic memories that last a lifetime. It's going to happen.
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