Denied

     I'm getting teary-eyed before even writing anything yet. According to my parents, Uganda isn't happening.  I can't believe that I'm not going to be going. Okay here the waterworks come. They don't understand. It kills me inside. I sat next to my friends yesterday as they talked about how their parents said yes and they'd be going. I sat next to them and cried. I'm missing out on the experience of a lifetime because my parents said no. Do they understand that I want to go and help people? That I want to explore the world? That I'll never have an opportunity like this ever again? I want to go so badly that I've cried in the shower, in public, and now. That doesn't make logical sense, but I hope the point comes across. I've wanted this so badly. The worst part is being able to picture the whole trip in my head with my best friends and not being able to ever see that vision come to life. I think I'm passionate about helping others and wanting to travel, but how can I do those things if they won't let me? I hate it. It hurts, it really does. I'm so close, but can't.
     So what are the reasons why I can't go? They don't think I'll be safe. Bull. I'm going with a teacher who I completely trust. She's been the one who read my three page run on of my thoughts sophomore year. She's been the one to offer me a spot at NTLP during last summer where I met so many cool people and learned to be more aware that other people go through their own struggles. She's always helping her students. They don't understand. We're going to a part of Africa with no war. Sure things happen but I'm safe. I have no doubt about it. I'm completely safe. I think the biggest thing is money. We can't afford it, at all. I've thought of getting a job and giving up sports next year. I couldn't do it though. I've tried to think of hours to work during school and sports. They don't have any money to give me for this. I never ask for clothes or anything that often because I know. It sucks. I wish that we had more, but I guess it makes me appreciate what I do have. Some are more fortunate than others and that's why I want to go. I don't have much compared to some of my friends, but I have so much more than the kids in Africa or even around town. I'm embarrassed to bring my friends to my house so I just don't. I hope I'm not judged for my sentence structure and lack of flow in these excerpts.
      I'm never going to forgive them for this. It's always going to hurt.